The following transcript simulates an actual phone conversation had just a few days ago:
"Thank you for calling Direct Loans Customer Service. How may I help you?"
"Yes, hi. I'm calling because I just got a notice that my automatic debiting for my college loan has been discontinued. I haven't discontinued it, so I wanted to know why automatic debiting has been canceled."
"Hold on, sir, let me check."
Lum dee dum dee dum.
"Thank you for holding, sir. It appears that you have just finished paying off the loan."
"Yes, sir. Your account balance is at zero."
"Is it appropriate to do a little dance now?"
"Go right ahead, sir."