The questions only get tougher

To his parents, after seeing the WAMU radio tower, "Why does the radio come over in waves? How does it get to our radio?"

To his mother, on the metro ride into work: "Mama, where does the sidewalk end?"

And, in a moment I'm not sure I necessarily want repeated, to his female babysitter lying next to him in bed after they have played for a few hours: "What's your name?"

An invitation to manipulate

Now that the semester's over, I have two academic things on my plate this week: (1) finish up my syllabus for my course on Alfonso Cuarón which is due to start in a week, and (2) finish up a long-overdue article on Peruvian director Luis Llosa.

This is a necessary introduction for the surprise discovery that I had been tagged in a meme. And from none other than Film Experience guru Nathaniel. (Ohmygosh, hi Nathaniel! *pant pant* big blogger looking at little ol' me, try not to sweat or vomit *pant pant*)

Here are the rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Locate the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing...
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged me.

There happen to have been two books in my bookbag, which I was just packing up in order to go to bed. The first, Ricardo Bedoya's 100 años del cine en el Perú: Una historia crítica, amusingly has photographs on page 123, so I had to go to page 127 to find text. As such, this is what I get

Así, el factotum de Amauta Films -- que por entonces substitía como empresa dedicada al negocio de la distribución de cintas extranjeras, principalmente mexicanas -- Felipe Varela La Rosa intentó regresar a la producción, para lo que formó la empresa Nacional Films del Perú, asociandose con Ismael Bielich, Kurt Hermann y Federico Uranga. En el distrito limeño de Barranco, emprendió la instalación de estudios y laboratorios con los que se propuso prestar servicios a empresas que intentaban probar la eficacía del apun incipiente negocio de la publicidad fílmica y mantenerse en la producción de noticiarios y documentales. En la nueva experiencia apareció acompañado por Kurt D. Hermann, director de producción de la nueva compañía, Guillermo Garland y por los técnicos Pedro Valdivieso y Julio Barrionuevo, responsables de fotografía y sonido que habían iniciado su carrera en Amauta.

Hm. What do we learn from the above?

1. Film history in Peru in the early 1940s involves something called Amauta Films.
2. Spanish sentences are really friggin' long. (And yet, is anyone else glad that neither Saramago nor García Márquez was near me right now?)
3. And often really boring.
   
4. I am a big geek.

I expected the other selection to be even more tedious -- and yet, out of context as it is, it is more fun and profound. The book is the textbook I have assigned for my class, Auteurs and Authorship, a collection of essays edited by Barry Keith Grant. The essay that encompasses page 123 is Claire Johnson's "Women's Cinema as Counter-Cinema"; the three sentences selected happen to comprise one of her own writing and two quoted from Hans Enzenberger:

There is no such thing as unmanipulated writing, filming or broadcasting. The question is therefore not whether the media are manipulated but who manipulates them. A revolutionary plan should not require the manipulators to disappear; on the contrary, it must make everyone a manipulator.

Gotta say, I like that one much better. Plus, this bestows upon all of you the power to manipulate the media however you choose.

Oooh, now it's time for my favorite game of tag! Let's see what Zunguzungu, StinkyLulu, the Magiares, Manasse and that Desperate Hausfrau have to say. Not quite the usual suspects, but all smart folks, which should make this even more fun.

Payback doesn't have to be a bitch

So this weekend, we wallowed about in our yearly scramble for a babysitter. Angela once again had a spring concert (once again featuring Copland, wheee!) and our usual supply of potential babysitters via students was completely wiped out due to final exams. With the coming of spring, many of our other sources (neighbors, former students, illegal immigrants looking for construction work in Prince William county, etc.) were also wiped out. At gymnastics class, I was going to ask JP, Xan's best friend's dad, if he could give me the name of their babysitter. But before I did, he mentioned that an aunt had come and was helping them out.

"Darn," I said. "I'm desperate for a babysitter and I was going to ask if you had a good one to recommend."

"Well," he said helpfully, "why doesn't Xan just come over to play with Jolie? She would love it, they could play at the park and you won't have to worry about anything?"

I blinked. "Really?"

After much assurance from both JP and later KC on the phone, we agreed this was a good thing. I brought Xan over and both he and Jolie were ecstatic, literally jumping up and down at the sight of each other. I had brought over pajamas, since KC had suggested that he could even try getting in a sleeping bag in her room when I expressed concern that we might be late. I thought, Wow, his first slumber party, of sorts! What fun! Indeed, he barely lifted his head up to wave goodbye as I drove away (madly, trying to get to Capitol Hill from Wheaton in under a half hour). The concert, which included a fantastic flamenco piece by Miguel de Falla that I was previously unaware of, was amazing and, as it was the last concert of the season, we stuck around a little while to mingle with some of the other performers. I realized I didn't have KC's or JP's phone number at intermission, but guessed that they had Angela's and would call if something was wrong. We checked as we left the theater: no messages. It was a wonderful evening -- and we took a leisurely drive back to their place.

At the door, KC met us with a big smile. Xan ran to us with a huge hug. And upstairs, we could hear poor Jolie howling.

The gist of it was that there was a definite conflict of ideas between the two kids at bedtime: he wanted to be in with her, she wanted no one else in the room. And there was much howling that ensued, apparently from both sides. Once this was finally resolved, Jolie was up way past her bedtime and was now overtired. Upon closer inspection, it appeared that KC, JP and KC's aunt all could have used a pitcher of mojitos. Each. That is how we left them.

They never said a word but, oh my goodness, we felt horribly guilty for not coming back sooner. KC: so, so, so very sorry.

So: we think payback is in order. As in, what can we do for them that would be both fun and deserving? Seriously, we need suggestions. I'm soliciting. (Should KC respond in the comments herself that no payback is necessary, pay no attention to the crazy woman who has a newborn, a fantastic job as a full-time doctor, three different blogging responsibilities and a penchant for going a little overboard with birthday parties. Remember: she needs a picther of mojitos. Plus, she's clearly been uber-busy with the new, fab-lookin' website, so make that a picther-and-a-half. Hmm, maybe I should just make mojitos?)

Five easy pieces

I was intrigued by a posting at Where's My Cape? last week where a reader had posed five individual questions to be answered -- a meme of sorts, but personalized. I thought it was a neat idea, but I figured KC has been pretty busy with the double blogging and impending birthday preparations and what-not. I thought I wouldn't bother her.

To my glee, I found another five questions directed to laloca at Baggage Carousel 4 this evening. Laloca and I go waaaay back -- she knows more about me than I almost want to imply, which is what happens when you meet at 14 and her first words to you are, "Why are you talking to him? You should talk to me" -- and I thought, what could she possibly come up with for me?

Her questions turn out to be spot-on, and even allow me to talk about a couple things I have been thinking about blogging about anyway. Since I just finished a huge batch of grading (and can therefore really get back to writing tomorrow), I will delay going to bed just yet to respond.

1. in the wee hours of the morning, you toss and turn as your dreams take a nasty turn into nightmares. you've entered the march madness office pool, and your picks have Crime Zone vs. Un Chien Andalou and Heavy Metal vs. The Day After in the final four. Then, in a surprising upset, nuclear war falls to bladerunner-esque Lima. what did you eat before going to sleep?

Let me delay my response for a moment to fill in everyone (including laloca) about how perfect this question is.

The whole brackets thing may seem old hat now that March Madness has come and gone and I didn't participate in the actual basketball thing anyway. (This may be residual effects from when AU came thisclose in 2002 to making it to the dance, bringing ESPN to campus and driving me batty with the constant voice-mail messages to "support our team at the pep rally!" -- only to have us then lose by one point to Holy Cross. Secretly, I was pleased, having attended said rally with my misanthropic TA, both of us wearing black and saying "rah" at inappropriate moments.) I have, however, been unusually active in an internet version called Band Madness, which I accidentally caught in its first week. The concept of deciding which is better, the Eagles or the Pet Shop Boys (I voted the latter, naturally), makes me smile. It shouldn't, but it does.

This question also brings up a movie called Crime Zone, which is a major blast from the past that has come back to haunt me lately. Directed by Luis Llosa for Roger Corman's production company way back in 1988, this post-apocalyptic sci-fi movie is pretty good for the crapola-level it was aiming for; it also features a large number of random cameo appearances by many people I went to high school with: two English teachers as bickering shopkeepers, the librarian as a freeze-dried aristocrat, an ex-girlfriend as a robotic bank-teller. As it turns out, I actually auditioned for this film, for a role as a profane 15-year-old taxi driver who said "fuck" a lot. (Given that I was kinda born-again at the time, the audition was lots of fun.) Given that the only lead film roles I've gotten were in three productions by a former student (including one entry into the 24 Hour Film Festival, where I played the superhero Shoe-Man), you may tell that I didn't get the job.

Fast-forward fifteen years: I am now a film academic asked to present something on American production techniques used in Latin America for a conference. I decide to expand what was essentially a footnote in my book to a full-blown presentation on Luis Llosa's films for Corman. (The original title: "Babes in the Amazon, Ponch in the Andes: Roger Corman and Peruvian Cinema.) In the process, I bought copies of all these old films, including Crime Zone. The paper went over well enough that colleagues of mine who were putting together a book on Latin American exploitation film have asked me to expand this piece for their collection, which I'll have to have done by mid-summer. Funny how things work out.

Back to the question: what did I eat to generate such a nightmare? Easy: I must have eaten the god-awful pizza and sangría sold on the Calle de los Pizzas in Miraflores in Lima. Circa 1988, this was consumed nearly every other weekend before going out dancing at Nirvana. It was cheap and awful -- and back then I didn't know I was semi-lactose intolerant. So I'm sure nightmares would have been the alternate result.

2. paper or plastic?

Usually plastic, because then I don't have to buy more plastic bags to use as trash bags. But I'm shopping a lot at Trader Joe's these days, which means a lot of paper. Since I'm in Takoma Park, I will answer what is in my trunk: hemp.

3. how does it feel to be rapidly approaching your 14th birthday?

Laloca asks this question because, in her mind, I am still 15 and getting younger. This is because I replaced her as youngest-person-in-the-class when I moved to Lima in 1986. She has never forgotten this, nor has she let me forget this. As a result, the following conversation ensued only a few years ago when I joined her and her boyfriend for some birthday sushi:

MIDDENTO: So how does it feel to be 30?
LALOCA: [shrugs] Really, not any different than 29.
MIDDENTO: That's funny. Because now you look 30. [Boyfriend literally spits out his miso.] You know, I think I've been waiting 15 years for my being younger than you to finally pay off.

Sigh.

In any case, it's great to finally be turning 14. I appear to be growing a chest hair and, if I'm lucky, I'll get that Wham! cassette I've been asking for. (George Michael is so the next thing in music. No, he is.)

4. if you could ask anyone in the world (living, dead, or as yet unborn) a single question - and have it answered with full honesty - who would you ask, when would you ask, and what would the question be?

J.J.'s gorgeous elegy for his grandmother (really, go read it now, it's gorgeous) reminded me of a moment with my own grandmother in 1998. Abuelita's mind had long since gone to Alzheimer's, though she was healthier than anyone else in the family otherwise. (She would live two more years, in fact, after this moment.) She was, however, confined to her house, shuffling back and forth with the help of a nurse, hunched over with very vacant eyes. My aunt took primary responsibility for her, and had done so for several years.

I was there doing the first research for The Book and Angela had come with me. By that point, we were already engaged -- and yet, for reasons that still baffle me, my aunt wouldn't let Angela meet Abuelita. I found this silly, but I respected her decision.

I had brought a video camera to get some footage for some language instructional videos for the Spanish language program at Michigan -- and, on one of the last days, I decided to shoot just a few minutes of footage of my grandmother so that I could bring that back to my mother as a gift. And, choosing to do this while my aunt was out, I asked Angela to come with me to meet her. It was the only time they got to meet and I thought I would just get some random shots of my grandmother sitting. The minute I turned the camera on, however, my abuelita changed: hunched as she was, she suddenly straightened up, looked at the camera and walked sprightlier than I had seen her walking in years. And, caught on film, there was a mischievous glimmer that I recognized from years earlier when I was little and she would conspire with my uncle Ernesto to douse me with water balloons.

My question, therefore, would be a very simple one to my grandmother at that moment: Are you really still in there -- and if so, how are you?

5. your inanimate object question: you are a table. describe yourself, and what is on you.

I am a coffee table made of light-colored wood, sturdy but with relatively thin legs, lacquered lightly. No drawer, just the table, with only a little bit of ornamentation at the lip. Books and magazines are in piles on me, along with some dust and someone's stocking'd feet.

and the bonus, i-didn't-come-up-with-it-myself question: as i was going to st. ives, i met a man with seven wives. each wife had seven sacks, each sack had seven cats. each cat had seven kits. kits, cats, sacks, wives, what kind of sack can hold fifty-six felines without breaking?

Hemp. More importantly, however, is the question: how did you get all those damn cats in the bag without your arm getting torn to shreds?

**
I'd be happy to direct five questions of my own creation to anyone who requests them. It's more fun than I thought it would be -- and definitely not your everyday meme.

What I'm (Not) Reading

I usually dread the "what's your top ten favorite...?" questions. I get them all the time, being both a lit professor and a film professor. I cop out always, saying, "There are too many for me to list."

So I'm not really sure why I'm responding to Jenny's meme-tag asking for my ten favorite books. I had to go back to the person who tagged her to find that it's really "ten books I can't live without"; nonetheless, I'm taking Jenny's approach to the first set that comes to mind, in no particular order. Catch me tomorrow and the list might be altered somewhat.

1. If on a winter's night a traveler, Italo Calvino. I was mesmerized by this the first time I read it and my passion for it grows each time I read it. I assign the book whenever I can because it's that fantastic.
2. Kiss of the Spider Woman/El beso de la mujer araña, Manuel Puig. It combines some of my favorite things: Latin American chamber thriller and the ecphrasis of old-school Hoolywood genre movies. Also assigned whenever possible, and I learn more with each reading.
3. The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton. I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge this book that I picked up early and turned me into not only a reader but a die-hard consumer of hair gel (which is what I'm sure those Oklahoma boys would have used on their tuff hair in the 80s). Has never been assigned for class, although I'm toying with showing Rumblefish next year.
   
4. Stars, Edgar Morin. Lovely high concept theoretical stuff about movie stars, yet as readable as a novel -- although maybe I love it because he also has a James dean fascination, writing in the late 50s as he is.
   
5. Scissors, Paper, Rock, Fenton Johnson. Along with Chabon's The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, an inspirational text for the creative side in me. Johnson's novel is really a set of linked short stories, though the whole that results from reading all of them paints a brutal family portrait.
6. The Satanic Verses, Salman Rushdie. A formative book for me, given that I wanted to read it after seeing a Newsweek review in Lima -- right before the ensuing fatwa allowed me to justify importing the book to Lima for a major project in 12th grade social studies. That was the first of four papers I would then write throughout college on the book, culminating in a senior thesis on Rushdie.
7. The Tempest, William Shakespeare. Actually, if heading out to a desert island, I'll be taking my honkin' big Riverside Shakespeare, thank you very much. But Shakes' near-final work is so fascinating, I eat it up every time.
8. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri. Along with Salvador Plascnecia's The People of Paper, this is one of the best pieces of contemporary writing I've read in a while. My class currently is writing about Mira Nair's adaptation of her novel The Namesake (which I have yet to read), but I would love to assign this as reading at some point, just so that I can have added reason to read it myself again.
9. La ciudad y los perros, Mario Vargas Llosa. No English version here: it's one of the first Peruvian books I tried to get through in Spanish and, given the stylistic acrobatics throughout the book, this wasn't easy at the time. 'Twas highly rewarding, however, and I still go back to it every so often.
10. The Bachman Books, "Richard Bachman" (Stephen King). I am something of a closet Stephen King fan, although I haven't read his most recent work (yet). Many of his books -- Carrie, The Shining, 'Salem's Lot, It -- got me through the first months of my time in Peru when I knew nobody. King's collections of novellas, however, are particularly well-written: if my copy of Four Past Midnight isn't falling apart, my copy of Different Seasons (with "The Body" and "Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption") definitely is in pieces with the cover completely gone. His collection written as Richard Bachman, however, holds a particular place in my heart, perhaps because I tried my own hand at adapting two of my favorite stories there: I used "Rage" (somewhat) as inspiration for a script for my (somewhat useless) high school film production class and still have some ideas in mind for an adaptation of "The Long Walk," ideas which old friend Matt Strauss and I bonded over at Michigan. I also like that King "gave" these stories to an alter ego to see if "he" could establish himself as an author, which almost worked.

What's fun here: I linked all the titles to Amazon and found you can get a used copy of some of them for as low at 8 cents. While that may be depressing in some ways for writers, it does make it worth your while to check some of these out -- for just 8 cents plus shipping, after all.

Who gets tagged? Hm -- who is still reading who has a blog of their own? Heh, despite my desire to see people like Patty K and Señor Pájaro answer this one (and feel free to do so in the comments), I may have to pass the meme on to KC (who might have one for me anyway) and Joel (because I should know what he's reading in addition to what he's listening to).

As much as I wanted to be Satine...

Which NICOLE KIDMAN Character Are You?

"Grace Mulligan" in DOGVILLE

Whoa! No matter where you go, small town or large, we both know you'll be the center of things. So fill the empty places with mercy rather than judgment next time around, won't you?

(Take this quiz!)

Movie memedom

I was tickled to discover that I had been tagged by Nathaniel of The Film Experience for a particular movie meme -- particularly since it seems to be originating with him. I've therefore taken some time with these amusing, yet kinda thought-provoking questions.

1. Popcorn or candy? If forced to choose, definitely popcorn, with slight butter. But I came into movie geekdom thanks to the Dartmouth Film Society, whose twice-weekly screenings at the Hopkins Center were in a theater that did not allow food. As such, I am now happy and content to make it through a three-hour long flick without the need for sustenance. (Also, I only buy popcorn at independent theaters that desperately need my concession cash.)
2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever. I am almost embarrassed to say I have a PhD and I have still yet to see Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. I have seen the other nuclear-bomb film from 1964, Fail-Safe, which still freaks me out, but I really need to see Strangelove soon, or else my students will legitimately have reason to not respect me.
3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom? For years, I have been telling my students that the ever-fabulous Anna Paquin should have lost to the even more fabulous Rosie Perez, whose performance in Peter Weir's Fearless is outstanding. That said, Paquin's 12-year-old self does fine, nuanced work in The Piano, so she can still keep the statuette. Instead, I would take it away from Geoffrey Rush for Shine. I liked the movie at first, but then over time realized how much I despised it. Rush gets by and wins the award for the tired-and-true "I'm afflicted!" performance that is ultimately uninspiring. Not to mention the fact that the actor that does the real work in Shine is clearly the unheralded Noah Taylor. In 1997, I would have almost been happy with anyone else nominated that year when the indies took over the Oscars -- Ralph Fiennes for The English Patient, Woody Harrelson for The People vs. Larry Flynt, Billy Bob Thornton for Sling Blade. My choice, however, is a surprising one for me, given how happy I was at the indie revolution: I really wanted Tom Cruise to win for Jerry Maguire. I felt that the role stood out as being very old Hollywood in a very new way, that Cruise embodied the likes of Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart, but with a 90s spin. Cruise will never get a role like that again (and, quite frankly, I have soured on him as an actor considerably since), but I still think that was his year
   
4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be? If I'm allowed to cross-dress, I would chose almost anything from Carmen Miranda, who I have been threatening to go as for Halloween for years now, just because she is outrageous fun. But there's a bigger single costume item that I'd prefer more than anything: James Dean's iconic red windbreaker from Rebel without a Cause. It's classic, it's simple, and it's the coolest thing on film ever.
   
5. Your favorite film franchise is... the "Before Sun" movies by Richard Linklater, i.e. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, both with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. I am eagerly awaiting Before the Noontime Sun and Before the Solar Eclipse, though I hope they have fewer car chase sequences than the other two. (Wait, this isn't a franchise?)
   
6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them? I'd probably have two dinner parties. Alfonso Cuarón, Billy Wilder, Atom Egoyan, Pedro Almodóvar and Francois Truffaut would probably produce some wonderful conversations between guys who really love the art of the movies; we'd have to have some wonderful seared duck, risotto and some good red wine. But I'd also love a gaggle of fun, spirited women who are icons in their own ways: Mae West, Katherine Hepburn, Emily Watson, Ingrid Bergman and Rita Moreno (with Kate Winslet also crashing the party) would make for lots of great stories, particularly after some good sauvignon blanc and lots of yummy hors d'oeuvres made with puff pastry and sauce.
   
7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater? Decapitation. That way, they can't talk or hear. As ringmaster at Telluride this year, I threatened patrons with immediate deportation to the (fictional) Central South Dakota Film Festival.
   
8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days. This is really simple: Mace from Strange Days. I would trust Angela Bassett with my life any day anyway, but the character is also the most even-headed of this group, and the only one proven to defend a grown man. (The fact that I actually have an article out there on Strange Days, the first one I ever got published, also helps.)
   
9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie? How about the scariest thing I didn't see? I ran from the theater in college at the meathook sequence in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, because I couldn't stand the sight of the girl getting hacked to bits with a chainsaw on a meathook. It took me three additional attempts at watching the movie before I finally discovered you don't see anything there, that my mind had filled things in just a wee bit much.
   
10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is? I confess to having a soft spot for two of the most unrealistic (and related) movie genres out there: the musical and the melodrama. That's why I really love Mexican cabaret melodramas (cabareteras) from the 1940s, since they combine the two genres so beautifully. You've never really lived until you've seen Aventurera when the exquisite Ninón Sevilla, fallen on bad times, sings and dances defiantly, only to discover that the mother of her rich, new lover is actually... the madam of the brothel that forced her into prostitution in the first place!! I also got to spend a 1-1/2 hour van ride with Ms Sevilla who turned out to be more than gracious and, in her 70s when I met her, still with the verve and spirit that she had in the movies years before.
    
11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power? I would bring directors from outside the United States to see what they could do with a larger budget in English, perhaps in the hopes that they could become the next Billy Wilder who invigorates American cinema. Tops on my list: Lucretia Martel from Argentina, Christoffer Boe from Denmark, Wong Kar-Wai from Hong Kong (who is actually getting this chance), Alvaro Velarde from Peru.
    
12. Bonnie or Clyde? Bonnie. She is doomed, doomed, doomed and by the end when she asks him what he would change and he answers "nothing," she knows it -- and she sticks by him anyway. She's a class act.
    
13. Who are you tagging to answer this survey? (Three or more) Dan (aka JJ), who I am surprised didn't get tagged by Nat for this the first time around; Nell, because the world needs to know what the Movie Mom really thinks; Jenny, because she always has great responses to memes whenever I tag her; and Kathy, because I have a sneaking suspicion (as the medical doctor, shoe-happy, not-even-remotely-film-oriented person that she is) that she may have some fun answers to this meme.
    

No, it's not Dr. Seuss

I've been tagged by Cathy of Where's My Cape? for this particular meme:

The rules:
-Grab the book closest to you
-Open to page 123
-Scroll down to the 5th sentence
-Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog
-Name of the book and the author
-Tag 3 people

As it happens, I have a small stack of books by my bed which comprise (in the manner of Italo Calvino's stroll through the bookstore in If on a winter's night a traveler, which we read for class today) the Books I Will Someday Read When I Have Time. I thought the one on top was Alex McLennan's The Zookeeper (which is a great read and is also by an AU MFA alum), but as it turns out, a different book happened to be on top, probably put there by one little boy with damp fingers.

As it turns out, the result is rather amusing.

The quote:
"HUMPF! I'll try it again. HUMPF!"

No, really, that's it. And it's taken from Life of Pi by Canadian author Yann Martel. It won the Booker Prize in 2002 and is due to be made into a film directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet this coming year.

Tagged, because I'm curious what books are lying around them:

• nephew Joel, living in blue shift;
• friend Jenny, living in Baggage Carousel 4 (that is, when she's not in coffeehouses telling my current students certain nicknames, ahem!!!); and
  
• newly rediscovered former student Dan and/or his lovely wife Linzey, who are both Buono da Mangiare down in the bayou.

A psychological profile

I couldn’t resist trying this, nabbed off of The Film Experience. In theory, the directions are as follows:

• Turn on iPod.
• Shuffle.
• Hit play.
• The songs that then appear -- in order -- answer the following questions.
  

Being technically unadvanced (read: cheap) as I am, the problem here is that I do not own an iPod. Luckily, one can do something similar simply by taking everything I have on WindowsPlayer, making a gigantic playlist of it and hitting shuffle. Voila. Here's what came up for me, which is decidedly funny:

1. How does the world see you?
El mayoral by Susana Baca. This translates to "Slave Driver." Perhaps my students (along with my T.A.) might agree. Not sure about my wife though.

2. Will I have a happy life?
Let Love Speak Up Itself by The Beautiful South. This means that life is happy and full of love? I can definitely take that!

3. What do my friends think of me?
Marlene on the Wall by Suzanne Vega. What a shocker that a Suzanne Vega song made it on here. So my friends think I'm a wallflower? Perhaps people from high school.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Julianna by Patrick Brickell. Well, none of you know this tune at all, though it's worth checking out since Pat is someone I knew in high school in New York and is now a very cool folk singer. As for someone named "Julianna" secretly lusting after me, the only person I know with a name close to that would be the roommate formerly known as Julie Donahue -- and I think we covered long ago that there is noooo secret lusting after me, especially since she only laughed when I ran across the bedroom naked.

5. How can I make myself happy?
Cubik by 808 State. Mindless, wordless techno in an extended version, no less. Actually, this makes sense.

6. What should I do with my life?
Supermarket from the soundtrack to Run Lola Run. At least I know where to go if (God forbid) tenure doesn't come through.

7. Will I ever have children?
Beautiful by Manderlay. Yes, he is.

8. What is some good advice for me?
One Day I'll Fly Away by Nicole Kidman, from the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge! Wait, I should leave? I don't want to leave! This is not good advice.

9. How will I be remembered?
The Drinking Song by Moxy Fruvous. And the band played on/As the helicopters whirred/Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn/My senses finally blurred. Sounds like there won't be no one left to remember me.

10. What's my signature dance song?
Sing by the Carpenters. Isn't this from when they were on the Muppet Show? I kinda do dance like a Muppet.

11. What's my current theme song?
Yahoo! by Erasure. Given that it's the end of the semester, couldn't be more appropriate.

12. What do others think my current theme song is?
Rodeo by Aaron Copland. Oddly enough, very similar. Except classical instead of 80s New Wave.

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Better? by Propellerheads. No lyrics again, but funky and lilting. I can see people jamming to that at my wake.

14. What type of men do I like?
MMM Skyscraper I Love You by Underworld. I kid you not that this is what came up. It appears that I am not just a metrosexual -- I am a metropolisexual.

15. How's my love life?
Jump in the Line by Harry Belafonte from the soundtrack to Beetlejuice. Whee! Conga in the bedroom!!!

OK, who else would benefit from this? Let me tag some other fun folks with blogs: how about Cathy at Where's My Cape?, Becks, Cardo, Kristy, Jenny (because her list will be amusing) and (because she's the one likely to have as much techno on her list as I do) Kata? Your turn!

The photos of my googled world

This meme proved to be highly amusing.

Taken from Kristy, here are the simple rules:

Google Photo Meme -- The first image that pops up on Google Search when you enter:
(1) The town & state you grew up in
(2) The "town" where you currently reside
(3) Your first & last name
(4) Your grandfather's name
(5) Your favorite food
(6) Your favorite drink
(7) Your favorite smell

I'm waiting for Xan to wake up, so I thought I'd do this. I was not expecting some of the results:

(1) The town & state you grew up in: Baldwin, NY. This photo is perhaps not so suprising... except I have no earthy idea where this "lake" is, considering that this small Long Island town is near the beach.

(2) The "town" where you currently reside: Takoma Park, MD. Also, not too surprising.
(3) Your first & last name: Jeffrey Middents. OK, this was a bit disconcerting. I know the bride here, because we went to college together (and actually sang in the same a capella group one summer). But I didn't go to this wedding. My own picture is the second image.

(4) Your grandfather's name: My paternal grandfather's name came up with my cousin's picture -- my maternal grandfather, Maximo Romero, came up with much more peculiar results. The first, here, apparently is a professional cyclist. (No, this is not my gradfather.)

(5) Your favorite food: Rice. Boring perhaps, but I loves my starch, the hell with Atkins.

(6) Your favorite drink: Gin and tonic. If it weren't 8:30AM, this actually looks tasty.

(7) Your favorite smell: The first thing that came into my head was "jasmine," as in the flower. I really love the smell of jasmine in the cool, early summer air. Angela, I swear that this is not the Jasmine I was thinking of.

Admittedly, I find this score pathetic

You Are 24% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Mmmm, meme-a-licious

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	Egg rolls	Actually, any deep-fried food from a Chinese take-out, so that includes chicken fingers, General Tso's [fill in the blank], etc. But because the egg roll sometimes comes free with the lunch special, it's that much more of a special treat.
Literary:	Entertainment Weekly	I'm actually proud of whatever I read in book-form. The fact that I devour EW upon receipt, however, makes it a guilty pleasure in my book.
Audiovisual:	A Different World	I can no longer find it on daytime syndication -- but that's probably a good thing, because having not caught this when it actually aired on NBC, I was REALLY caught up in the lives of Whitley, Dwayne and especially Freddy.
Musical:	Switchfoot	Not that I own an album, but I find virtually all their songs on the radio catchy. Close runner-up: that new James Blunt song, "You're Beautiful," which I just love.
Celebrity:	Emily Watson	OK, not the biggest celebrity. But I did tell my class the other day that I would give an A with no questions asked to anyone who could arrange a private dinner with her for me.

Now I tag (which means, for the uninitiated, now you do it and post the results at your blog, although the html may take some modification for blogspot since this is supposed to be for livejournal users): base2wave, Rusty @ DCLush, McNastabator, Holly-in-NOLA/Lima, and karamale.


To complete this same Quiz, it's HERE.

Eek! I've been tagged!

The first time I've been tagged by a meme! How quirky! Here goes nothing...

Meme: State the meme rule; specify who you're tagged by; list "5 weird habits of yours"; then tag 5 people to perform the same meme recursively.

I've been tagged by cardhead, who I even went to dinner with tonight, that dirty bastard! *grin* OK, five weird habits...

1. I eat avocadoes by cutting a crosshatch into it with a sharp knife, then pouring salt on the avocado half before eating it with a spoon. Delicious.
2. I also eat the citrus -- such as limes in margaritas -- once I finish my drink. (Not the rind. But I like the fruit.)
   
3. Once I've begun reading a short story, I do not like being disturbed until I am finished. I really love getting immersed in the story and fear I will lose that feeling if I am interrupted. (The same goes for watching a film, actually.)
4. I generally flip through an entire magazine when I first get it, then go back and read the stuff I'm interested in.
5. In general, I will eat a plate of food in the order of least tasty to most tasty, usually also meaning from blandest to most flavorful. (Why do most of these habits involve food?)

Who to tag? Well, let's try this assortment of fellow bloggers: JJ, Rusty, Basey, Manasse, and LaLoca. (Sorry, Jen, I was going to leave you out of this one this time since I got you last time over email, but I ran out of blogs! Besides, you haven't posted for a while -- let this inspire!)

Maybe I should have asked Santa for some more boxer briefs

Given my earlier post today, I am mildly amused -- and my student should be mildly concerned -- that this was the random e-resolution that came up when I accessed this website. (Thanks to Frooder for posting hers.)

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Stop wearing pants again. Get your resolution here

This one's for Julie Donahue, for obvious reasons

My nephew (the lucky bastard) got Lloyd Dobler. And I haven't seen this one. Still...

Which John Cusack Are You?

Given that I just blogged about David Brancaccio, it should not surprise me that I am a...

Pure Nerd
56 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 34% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!


Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid

I mean, why bother posting anything about my OWN life?

Today was really fun.
I got out of bed really early because I had terrible stomach cramps.

I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.

I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard. And Yale. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes?

Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world that my girlfriend Amy is the bomb! She made pizza last night, and even though I burnt my lips on the cheese, it was awesome!!!

I am really annoyed with those assholes at _are_you_hotter_than_us_?, because I am so much cuter than them, and those photos don't do me justice. They can't reject me, so I'm starting my own rating community. Click here to join (the first five applicants are automatically accepted).

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.

I want to say thanks to the academy for giving me this award.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with my favourite Buffy fan-fiction piece I wrote last year when I was in hospital.

[Thanks to Frooder, whose LiveJournal entry involving this made me crack up. Back to reality of sorts next time.]

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Which book am I?

Angela got this website from her Mom's group. She took it and came up with Alex Haley's Roots. I was curious with what I would come up with -- and lo, and behold, I like the result. Naturally, I'm curious to know how other people test...

I'm Watership Down!
by Richard Adams

Though many think of me as a bit young, even childish, I'm actually incredibly deep and complex. I show people the need to rethink their assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they build their houses. I might be one of the greatest people of all time. I'd be recognized as such if I weren't always talking about talking rabbits.


Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

This should come as no surprise to my 'shmen...

In honor of the premiere to finally end all premieres:



I could tell you that the first time I tried this, I actually ended up with Qui-Gon Jinn -- which is the truth -- but no one would believe me. Particularly my 'shmen. When I was an undergraduate advisor, we watched the original one night and slowly the realization hit all of us (myself included) that my actions as a UGA mimicked a certain droid.

Doomed I was.

Well, whadaya know

You know how I just noted that I'm a liberal? Took this quiz from the Pew Center and found out I was right!

So now, of course, I'm curious where everyone else scores on this. If you dare, take the survey and post in the comments.