Sunday, May 01, 2005

Threat Level: Cloudy

If you weren't aware of this, Senator Rick Santorum (who, I must say, deserves everything that Dan Savage's appropriation of his name implies) has put forth a bill in the Senate to possibly do away with the National Weather Service's free dissemination of information that is otherwise also distributed by private services. Apparently, the NWS is only good for sending out information when weather disasters are to strike and, otherwise, we should be paying for the service of a five-day forecast to finance AccuWeather. (There is a fantastic weather blog for the DC region which has been discussing this.) This seems like the most ludicrous waste of congressional effort I've see... oh wait, no, this is par for the course, isn't it?

Anyway, I therefore wonder if NWS decided not to let anyone know about the general hamless nature of last week's issue of national security for our area. Yes, it's apparently true: the President and Veep were moved to their bunkers (yes, moved to their bunkers) because an imminent threat was approaching... in the form of a cloud. (As NPR's news quix Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me put it today, "In their defense, White House staffers did say that the cloud bore a remarkable resemblance to Ted Kennedy." God, I love that show. Not to mention I learn stupid things from it, like this bit of information.) Forget stealth bombers, terrorists and dirty bombs: next season, 24 needs to join forces with the Weatehr Channel. ("Chloe, can you get me the barometric reading for Los Angeles?" "Dammit, the AccuWeather sattelite is blocking the information, Jack! All I'm getting is smog." "Jeez, how else are we going to positively ID that this is all the work of....Mother Nature." Boop, beep, boop, beep...)

Here's another disturbing thought. If this was so much of a threatening issue that officials were moved to their bunkers (again, I'm flabbergasted at this -- I mean, didn't anybody just look outside??!), should I be concerned that no warning was issued to us ordinary citizens who live, oh, 20 minutes away? The President is stowed away and we hear nothing. Gee, I wonder what will happen if there's an actual threat.

1 comment:

J.J. said...

Very funny. Somehow, despite my regular and intense digestion of the news, I missed this.