Scenes from an Oscar Party, 2007

The Official Oscar Statuesque 2007, semi-commissioned by The Compleat Sculptor

Awake for his first party, Xan helps with the decorations by carrying balloons in his mouth. (Pajamas by Carters.)











Given the current climate, workers toil to ensure that the entranceway sculpture (the SnOscar) will be completed in time. Happily, all the people waiting at the red carpet have been wiped out by the snow.








Xan supervises activities, fearing that things will not be done in time for the telecast (despite ample preparation and cuteness) and wondering what a Pilobolus is, and whether it's yummy









Jeff poses with the SnOscar, constructed to commemorate the occassion which caused attendance at the year's festivities to plummet, which brought up the odds on both the Oscar contest and drinking game








The evening's hosts, before any imbibing. By wearing the perfume Cinéma by Givenchy, Angela is channeling Penélope Cruz from Volver. Jeff simply pretends that he is The Departed.

Xan samples the foot-shaped hors d'ouevres. He will not last through the evening; however, he channels Jennifer Hudson nonetheless by going through three costume changes throughout the evening, including a set of pajamas, perhaps inspired by Barbara Striesand's get-up from the 1968 awards. Like Hudson (and every other Oscar winner ever), he will not thank his father. Sigh.

Collapsing under the sheer weight of responsibility (or gravity), the SnOscar falls; Jeff mourns its passing, or perhaps weeps for the only candidate he really wanted to win, Emmanuel Lubezki

Jeff poses with Chuck and Konrad, the power couple who will take both first- and second-place in this year's Oscar contest, winning a year's subscription to Premiere (whose predictions are always way off) and DVD copies of Casablanca and Batman!: The Movie (starring Burt Ward). In a surprise move, third prize goes to co-host Angela; at his own party, the degreed film scholar comes in 9th out of 12, perhaps because he voted against Helen Mirren.

The hosts, post-party and ready to pass out (and in Jeff's case, pre-hangover)